


Fell in Love, Didn't You?

by BeccaBear93



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-04-28 05:44:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 21,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5079994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccaBear93/pseuds/BeccaBear93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The transition from "sworn enemies" to "happy boyfriends" isn't always as quick and easy as they make it look. A series of snapshots of the ups and downs of Baz and Simon's relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well, it says "ups and downs," but let's be honest. The vast majority of fic ideas I've thought of are pure fluff.
> 
> A few warnings. These are just in whatever order I think of them, but once I'm done with the many ideas I have and decide that this is done, I might reorder them to be chronological. These aren't Brit-picked. And there might be some sexual content later, hence the rating. For this particular one, it's just a little suggestive.
> 
> This turned out completely different than I planned, but I hope you enjoy!
> 
> ETA: Holy shit. I cannot believe that this fic has reached 10,000 hits! Thank you guys so much! It makes me really happy that so many people have enjoyed it, some even enough to share it with others. That is absolutely mind-blowing. Thank you, really.

**Baz**

I think I spend more time at Snow and Bunce’s flat than my own. They’re both peaceful, but mine is the kind of peace that comes with emptiness. Their flat has a kind of chaotic peace; there are always things strewn about, sometimes floating when Bunce is too preoccupied or lazy to get up for them, and it feels exactly how it should.  
  
It’s still strange to have times like this, though. I’m sitting on the couch and Snow’s on the other end, my feet tucked under his legs, and we’re just reading our textbooks. In quiet moments like this, I still always feel like something huge and terrible is going to happen, like it always does when he’s around. It makes me antsy. I decide to make some tea, just to have something to do.

“Snow, do you--”

“Simon.”

“What?” I raise an eyebrow at him. “Why are you saying your own name?”

He sighs. “My name is Simon. Why is it still so hard to get you to call me that?"  
  
I roll my eyes. I don’t understand why it still bothers him so much. “Eight years of conditioning isn’t undone that easily.”

He turns back to his book. “Yeah, I guess you’re right…” he says, but he’s pouting now.

Crowley, I cannot stand it when Simon Snow pouts. I’ve never been able to, but in the past I was allowed to turn away and ignore it. It’s nearly impossible to not look now, and I can’t handle it. So I scoot forward, as close to my boyfriend as I can get, and hook my knuckle under his chin, forcing him to look at me. “Besides,” I say with a small smirk, “I like calling you something that nobody else does.”

He’s trying to fight it, but I can tell he wants to smile. “Does it have to be my last name, though? Only teachers ever call me that. It’s a little weird. Most couples have normal pet names.”

I laugh and give him a quick kiss. “Do you really want me to call you ‘baby’ or ‘darling?’” I ask, lowering my voice mockingly on the nicknames.

“No, I guess not…” he answers, making a face, but he’s blushing.

“You do!” I say disbelieving. I can’t help but laugh, but I’m already wondering whether I’d be willing to sacrifice my dignity to make him happy.

(I would. Of course I would. I would sacrifice anything to keep him alive and happy, least of all my dignity.)

“No!” Snow exclaims. “I don’t. It’s not that. It’s just…” he drifts off, coloring even more.

“It’s just what?”

“Nothing. Forget it.”

I grin. “Oh no. I’m curious now. I _have_ to know.” He looks like he’s about to keep protesting, so I add, “You know I won’t give up until I figure it out.”

He sighs and looks down, mumbling something. Of course I can hear it, but it’s so quick and slurred that I can’t understand it.

“What was that?”

“That voice…” he says slightly louder, before burying his face in his hands.

“Oh?” I smirk. _Oh._ Well, that’s something to remember. I lean right up to whisper in his ear and lower my voice again. “Does it get you hot, _Simon?_ ”

He doesn’t answer or lift his head, but I can feel the heat radiating from his face. I don’t know if it’s the voice or the use of his first name that did it (probably both), but that is _definitely_ something to remember. For later. For now, I think I’ll go make that tea.

I hop off the couch and head for the kitchen. When I get to the doorway, I ask, “Want some tea, Snow?” I turn around, and he’s glaring murderously at me, still red as a tomato. I just laugh and walk away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The whole idea for this chapter came from the first line, but I honestly had no idea how to end it. Sorry.
> 
> Warning for a bit of sexual content in this chapter.

**Baz:**

I am addicted to Simon Snow’s mouth.

I spent so long thinking about it, I should have known that I’d be hooked the moment I got a taste. The problem is, I never thought that I would get a taste, so I never considered it. I always assumed that would stay strictly in the realm of fantasies.

But I swear, his mouth should be classified as a bloody drug.

I couldn’t even tell you how many times we kissed that first night in the forest, much less every day and night since then.

The sex is great, but it’d be nothing without the kissing. (Oh, who am I kidding? It would still be fucking amazing.) It gets so heated sometimes that it’s an enormous struggle to be careful—but if I so much as nicked him with one tooth, it could turn into a nightmare. So it’s always at the front of my mind. Snow, on the other hand, goes crazy in the best possible way. He licks and scratches and bites and does everything in his power to drive me completely insane. And then he just stops and breathes against my mouth, eyes closed. That’s how I know he’s close.

It's even better when he first wakes up in the morning, though. He’s finally taken to closing the curtains when I stay over, and without the light, he’s drowsier, slower to wake up all the way. Before he even opens his eyes, he’ll grope around for my hand, squeeze it, smile. Then he’ll blink a few times until he’s a little more awake and scoot forward on the pillow until his forehead is resting against mine. “Good morning,” he says, and we’ll kiss lazily for a few minutes. When he’s finally ready to get up, he’ll first give me one more peck and whisper, “I love you,” against my lips. I’m still amazed that I get to wake up to him every day. It still feels like a dream sometimes.

Hell, he doesn’t even have to kiss me to get me high. All he has to is say those words, or give me a smile. When I repeat them, “I love you, Simon,” he gives me the most gorgeous smile I’ve ever seen. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. How on earth did I get so lucky?

I certainly don’t deserve him. But he’s here, all the same. And I am as addicted to him as I’ve ever been.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aside from the first one, I’m writing these for NaNoWriMo, and I got this lovely plot bunny challenge today: “You found a guitar left under a tree.” So this little drabble is my attempt at fitting that in. I don’t really like this one, honestly, as I only had a small idea and it just turned into a ramble… I hope somebody likes it anyways, though.

**Baz:**

When Snow brought home a guitar about a month ago, I wasn’t sure what he was thinking. But he said it had just been sitting under a tree in the park for a week, and nobody had come to get it, so he brought it home. Ever since he found that thing, he looks more alive than he has in months. He says that music is like another form of magic. It’s a way for him to create something from nothing again.

I’m more relieved than I could possibly say that the dead look is finally gone from his eyes. I can tell Bunce is, too. She doesn’t say anything, but I sometimes catch her watching Simon play out of the corner of her eye, smiling a bit.

The aura around him without his spirit is so much worse than just the lack of magic. Yes, it’s still different, but he doesn’t feel like a corpse anymore. He doesn’t sit silently, staring into space and clinging to my hand. He creates instead.

I’ll be perfectly honest: Snow is a terrible singer. His enunciation never has been that great, after all. But he’s taught himself how to play that guitar surprisingly quickly. He’s quite good at it, and when he starts playing he lights up. I don’t think the hole left by his magic will ever be completely filled, but music helps. He’s starting to learn how to write his own songs as well, and he just seems so happy. So when he starts playing, we settle in and listen and feel his magic wash over us again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So far, these are all so much shorter than I expected… I actually kind of like this one, though.

**Baz:**

My nightmares have been the same for years.

I see my mother, and a room full of vampires. I feel a sharp pain in my neck, and then everything is fire and heat, and then darkness.

I see Snow. I bite him, or he slices my head off with that sword of his, or he goes off and the world explodes, or the forest burns around us and we die during our first and only kiss.

My mother comes back to destroy the monster that I’ve become. I don’t fight.

I wake up in a cold sweat, but I don’t panic. I’m used to these visions. The only one that has changed over the course of several years is the last one with Simon. He’s lying here with me, though, arm draped over my chest. He’s alive, and I’m alive (in a way), and that’s more than I could have hoped for.

**Simon:**

Ebb is on the floor, her hair soaked red. The Mage is collapsed in an unnatural position, not moving. Not breathing. There’s shattered glass everywhere, and I slice my hand open, but I barely notice it. I can hear Penny and Baz somewhere, talking, screaming. I whisper every healing spell I can think of, but my magic is gone. I can’t save them. The only remnants are wings, a tail, and a corpse that I can still feel the weight of falling on me.

I wake up screaming, and my wings jolt and knock Baz out of the bed. He just climbs back up and whispers to me while I cry. He tells me it’s okay. I know it’s not, and maybe it never will be. I think he knows it, too. He says it anyways.

**Agatha:**

I’m dragged kicking and screaming back into the Chapel. I don’t have my wand, and Simon never comes to save me. Somehow I know that he’s dead at Baz’s hands. I die in Ebb’s place, the tower hides my body, and nobody ever knows what happened. The Mage continues his reign and goes more and more insane. It never ends.

I wake up with the sun shining on my face and my Normal boyfriend lying next to me. I thankfully remember my wand lying unused thousands of miles away. I reach for my mobile, wanting to make sure everyone back home is still okay. I can’t. I drop it, roll over, and go back to sleep.

**Penelope:**

I can’t undo my spell, and I’m stuck possessing a damn dog for the rest of my life. I can’t spit the words out, and Simon dies instead of the Mage. Baz kills him, and then goes on a rampage and kills half the school, too. I’m left alive to watch the carnage. It’s my fault.

I numbly roll out of bed and get dressed, and walk to the kitchen. Baz is calmly making breakfast, and Simon is standing behind him, safe and sound, arms wrapped around his waist. They hear me, turn, and smile. I breathe.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Penny to death. I hope I did her justice.

**Penelope:**

The moment I step through the door, I can practically feel the sparks in the air—and they aren’t the good kind. I drop my bag in the hall and rush through the flat until I find Simon and Baz in the living room.

They’re glaring at each other, and it’s obvious that this is a big fight, probably the biggest since we left Watford. Baz’s fangs are out, and Simon’s fists are clenched like he’s about to break his boyfriend’s nose again. They’re so focused on their staring match that they haven’t even noticed I’m here.

When they lunge for each other, I do the first thing I can think of.

“Stop, you two! The Anathema!”

They instantly freeze out of habit. After a minute, they remember that we’re not in their room in the tower anymore and there is no Anathema here. They look at me in confusion, and I shrug. “It was all I could think of.”

Simon is the first one to start laughing, but Baz and I join in soon enough, too. It’s stupid, but the tension is gone. After a while, I sit them down at opposite sides of the room and magic up some tea for all of us.

I’m hesitant to bring it up in case it starts everything up again, but I have to know. “What were you two fighting about, anyways?”

Simon looks away, blushing. “Nothing,” he mumbles, but I know how to read him by now.

“Let me guess, it was something so stupid that you don’t want to admit you got worked up over it.”

Baz smirks. “Exactly.”

“Oh no, you aren’t getting out of this either,” I say, turning on him. “Your fangs ‘popped.’” He instantly brings a hand up to his mouth, self-conscious, and I roll my eyes. “They aren’t still out. So, what happened?”

“Snow wants me to stop hunting.”

“Baz won’t just get his blood from the butcher.”

That’s certainly not what I was expecting. “What? Simon, it’s never seemed to bother you before…” When Simon gives me a look, I add, “Before you say anything, I’m not taking his side. I’m just a bit confused.”

“I never cared before because we were out in the middle of nowhere!” he answers.

Baz throws his hands up. “What is the difference between draining a country rat and a city rat?” he asks incredulously.

Simon is clearly getting frustrated again. He stands up and starts pacing. “The difference is that there are hundreds more people who could catch you! You honestly have no idea how dangerous this is, do you?”

Baz blinks at him. “That’s what this is about?”

“Obviously!”

“I wouldn’t exactly say it was obvious. You just started screaming at me about not hunting anymore,” he says, standing up.

“Because I want the risk of you getting caught to be as small as possible!”

Baz walks up to Simon and takes his hands. “Okay. I’m sorry. I’ll go to a butcher from now on. I didn’t know it worried you so much.”

“Thank you,” Simon says with a small smile, leaning their heads together. “I’m sorry I got so upset.”

And that’s my cue to leave. I’m pretty sure they’ve already forgotten I’m here anyways. I quietly stand up and sneak out, grabbing my bag on the way out. I’ll just go study at the library for tonight.

Maybe I should have just let them fight instead. I'm kind of sick of being exiled from my own flat.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took all of my willpower to not replace every instance of “sweets” in this with “candy.”
> 
> I'm sorry I never know how to end any of these. I have no idea what the point of any of them is, they're just strange little drabbles that I have fun starting and then have no clue where to head with them.

**Simon:**

I always thought that Baz only ate for show, so that nobody would suspect he was a vampire. Recently, I found out he actually _needs_ to eat, just like anyone else.

I also would have thought that he would prefer blood to food, but that isn’t exactly true, either. He needs blood to survive, but he likes normal food more.

Something he won’t admit to and that I never would have expected is that he also has the biggest sweet tooth of anyone I’ve ever seen.

Every single time he comes over, he has one of those candy coffee drinks from Starbucks, complete with extra whip cream, which he just licks off and eats separately. He’s tried to get me into them, but they’re sickeningly sweet. He’s completely addicted to them, though.

Usually, when Baz has dinner with me and Penny, he doesn’t eat much. I think he’s still worried about the fact that his fangs show. If there’s something sweet, though, he’ll eat a lot more. Sometimes he even goes for seconds. It makes me worry a little about the state of said fangs, but I’m mostly just happy that he’ll eat around us at all.

I also found a half-eaten bag of Halloween sweets once when I went to his flat. It was hidden in the back of a cupboard. I don’t think he knows I saw it.

Actually, I don’t think he realizes that I know about his weakness for sweets at all. If he did, I’m sure he would get embarrassed and deny it. I love it, though. I don’t know why. It just makes me smile when I see Baz with his hands curled around a Starbucks cup or find empty wrappers stashed in strange places. I guess it makes him seem softer somehow. I always make sure to leave some laying out somewhere when he comes over, and it’s always gone when I leave the room and come back.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this isn’t Snowbaz-centric, but I love Penny too much to not write about her. I wrote this for the virtual write-in, where the prompt was “WE RUN THIS MOTHER — Write about the first thing a character realized they were good at.”

**Penelope:**

I’ve always known I was good at magic. I understand the power of words. I’ve read every book I could get my hands on ever since I learned how to read.

So when Simon came along…

Well, I hate to admit it, but I was a little bitter at first. I love him, and we became friends very quickly, but I was jealous. I spent years practicing and imagining what it would be like when I finally got to go to Watford, and then along came a boy who always thought he was a Normal, and he was apparently the Chosen One.

His power was insane. I could feel it the moment I met him. Everyone could. Simon’s magic was like a bomb just waiting to go off. And when it finally did, it was as terrifying as it was amazing. The first time he went off was when I realized that I had no reason to be bitter. I don’t envy him anymore. That kind of power isn’t something that should be trapped inside of someone, especially someone who can’t control it.

Then came Baz.

I was annoyed at first by the fact that he could always compete so closely with me for top of the class.

Since I’ve gotten to know him, though, I’ve realized that he’s put at least as much work into it throughout his life as I have.

It’s actually nice to have someone to talk to who can rival me with words, both magical and not. When he isn’t busy with Simon, we talk a lot. We debate over the proper usages of certain spells. We have snarky conversations for absolutely no reason except that we can keep up with each other and aren’t easily offended.

I’m glad Baz got that top spot when I left Watford. If anyone deserved it, it’s him.

Lately, I’ve come to understand that I have my own power. I’m good at what I do, and it doesn’t have to be the biggest or the best for me to know that. Somebody else’s achievements won’t detract from mine. I’m proud of how far I’ve come and how hard I’ve worked to get here.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to write this one, because… Well, as a bisexual, it bothered me that bisexuality was never even an option that was _mentioned_ in the book, despite how frequently Simon worried about his orientation. The only reason I could think of was that somebody didn’t know it existed—either Rainbow Rowell (which I really doubt), or Simon. So now this exists.

**Baz:**

I tap my foot and take another sip of my drink. I wish Snow would hurry up.

I understand why he’s taking so long, though. These sessions with his therapist are important. He’s been doing a lot better since he started them, and I don’t begrudge him the time it takes to feel better. I always wait out here just in case he needs the support, though, and it gets very boring.

Simon tried to invite me to join him for a few sessions, but I didn’t want to intrude. I don’t want to stop him from talking about anything he might need to. After all, I’m sure it can’t be easy to date your vampire ex-roommate and –enemy. He’s been amazingly patient with me when things get rough, and if he needs to vent to someone else, then he should. Even if he’s not talking about me, everyone has their secrets. I won’t make him share all of his with me. If he wants to, that’s his choice, and I won’t influence it.

Just as I reach for one of the sweets from the bowl on the table, I hear his bedroom door open. I drop my hand and lean back on the couch, trying to look like I’ve been more patient than I have.

Snow bounds out, the level of excitement on his face bringing puppies to mind. Or maybe it’s the fact that his tail is actually wagging.

“I finally figured it out!” he shouts, falling onto the couch next to me.

“What’s that, then?” I ask, taking his hand and smiling a bit.

“I’m bisexual!”

I can’t help it. I try not to laugh, but I choke on it a little. “You just figured that out? We’ve been together for two months!”

He looks down, sheepish. “Well, yeah, but… I didn’t even know that was a thing. I thought you were either gay or… Not. And my therapist wouldn’t let me talk about my…,” he blushes and continues on, clearly quoting her, “‘sexuality crisis’ until we’d worked through the things that she thought were more important. She was right, I guess; there have been bigger things to worry about, but it was bugging me this whole time.”

“And here I thought you were just thinking your feelings for Agatha weren’t real, and that’s the only reason you were confused,” I say, chuckling. “You’ve really never heard the word ‘bisexual?’”

“No. And Agatha might have been faking how she felt about me, but I know I really did have feelings for her.” He must see something in my expression, because he rolls his eyes and adds, “Past tense, Baz.” He squeezes my hand as if to reassure me, but it’s not necessary. I don’t get jealous anymore when he talks about Agatha.

Really.

“So are you satisfied now that you know?” I ask.

Simon thinks for a moment, then nods, a curl falling loose over his forehead. “I guess it doesn’t seem that important when you think about it. It’s just a word, really, but it’s nice to know that this isn’t just another way I’m different from everyone else. Being the Insidious Humdrum and having wings and a tail are enough, I think.” He laughs, but it’s a little bitter.

“Are you sure? I think it’s a bit boring,” I joke, prodding one of his wings. It works; he laughs, even if he’s cringing at the same time.

“You’re terrible.”

“You love it.”

“I do,” he agrees, eyes softening. “I love _you_.”

Logically, I’m fairly certain my heart doesn’t beat. It doesn’t stop the phantom pain I get there every time he says that. I will never get enough of it. “I love you, too.”

“Does it bother you that I was confused all this time?”

It does, just a bit, but I don’t know _why_ , so I shake my head.

“It has nothing to do with you, Baz. Ever since that night in the forest, I have known how I feel about you. I have never been confused about that. I have never considered leaving you.”

There’s that twinge in my chest again. I don’t know how to answer that sincerely. I don’t know how to let Simon know how much that means to me. I’m usually good with words, but he takes them all away from me. “Good. I wouldn’t let you.” That’s the best I can do.

“I’m glad we’re agreed, then,” he says, kissing my cheek. His smile is blinding.

I wrap my arms around him. “So, are we going out tonight, or staying in?”

“In, I think,” he says, pulling his legs onto the couch and leaning into me more.

“I thought so. I’ll cook.” He hums happily, and I smile, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. I’ll make all his favorites tonight, as soon as I can pull myself away from him. Dinner can wait a while.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So far, I think all of these have been set after the book, or at least towards the end of it. Let’s switch that up a bit. This one is way before the book starts. Enjoy some more rambling. For some reason, several parts of this ended up just sounding like innuendo. I didn’t intend that this time, I promise haha

**Baz:**

It’s incredibly fun to rile Snow up. He makes it so easy! One snide comment, and suddenly his sword is in his hand and magic is leaking out of him.

That’s the best part of it, honestly. The feeling of his magic is intoxicating. It’s fire and heat and pure power. I know I’m not the only one who feels its effect. Every time he gets upset or excited, I can see everyone in the area tense up or suddenly start grinning. They start using more spells, wasting more magic. Some people don’t even make any attempt to hide their reactions, but he’s always oblivious.

I could feel it from the very first time I met him. I’m sure Snow believes that I refused to shake his hand because I didn’t trust him, but I was just a kid. I didn’t shake his hand at first because I was in shock. I had never felt that much power from one person, and it was pouring out of this _child_ in waves. I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to get as close as I could or run as far away as possible. In the end, he made the choice for me.

I don’t think Snow even realizes how his magic fills the air when he gets angry, but even if he did, I don’t think he could control it. He doesn’t ever seem to have any clue how to control his power.

The first time I saw him go off, it was terrifying. I was sure I was about to die. It didn’t take long to realize that some part of his was still conscious and protecting anyone who might get caught in the blast, though, even his self-proclaimed enemy. Since then, it’s just been a game of chicken to see how close I can get him to exploding without actually doing it.

One night, I couldn’t sleep, and I ended up watching Snow go off in his sleep. I didn’t even know that was possible, and I felt that fear all over again. I had no idea if he would have even the slightest semblance of control if he wasn’t awake. In the end, though, all that happened was that his sheets caught on fire and he woke up screaming. I pretended that woke me up, and put out the flames with a quick **_“It’s raining, it’s pouring,”_** though he wasn’t too happy with me when his pajamas got soaked.

No matter how many times it makes me fear for my un-life, I keep going back for more. It’s so easy to get that power rolling off him, and it gets me drunk. I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to have that kind of magic inside me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually a follow-up to the last one, vaguely inspired by “Fourth of July” by Fall Out Boy, a song that I love to death and that I really like fitting with Simon and Baz. I couldn’t fit all the ideas I have for it into one cohesive fic, though, sadly.

**Baz:**

A few years later, I actually found out what it feels like to have that magic in you. Snow pushed it into me, and I was even more hooked than before.

It was completely overwhelming, but only in the best way. It felt like all the power on the planet was right at my fingertips, and I wanted to take more and more of it. I didn’t know what would happen to Simon if I did, though. I didn’t even understand how he was giving me his magic in the first place. I couldn’t risk something happening to him just because I felt greedy.

As I always suspected, his magic was like pure fire flowing through my veins. It melded with mine and strengthened it. I could tell right away that our magic was compatible. I’ll admit I felt a bit smug about that, even though I was sure it would never matter.

…And then it _did_ matter, if only for a short period of time.

Our combined magic made me delirious, and I used it to take Simon to the stars. Or maybe I brought the stars to us. I’m still not entirely sure.

And a while later, I discovered that there were other ways to make the magic pour out of him than making him angry.

Making him worry turned out to not be a great idea.

Kissing, on the other hand, worked amazingly.

As did everything that came after that. One night I was a bit worried that the bed was going to catch on fire again. Luckily, for once, where there was smoke, there was _not_ fire. That would have been a rather horrific end to a fantastic night.

Despite his name, Simon Snow and I were fire. Even without his magic, we still are.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say? I got hooked on the idea of Baz still being jealous of Agatha. Plus, when I read the passage where Agatha talked about how Baz looked at her, I thought, ‘Sweetie, you have the right observations, but the completely wrong conclusions. He’s in love with your boyfriend, not you’ haha. I wanted to include that somehow.
> 
> I feel like this is just one long rambly mess, but I really wanted to work through some of my thoughts on Agatha, because I don’t feel like I understand her character as much as Baz, Penny, or Simon.
> 
> Note: Some of the Americanisms in this chapter are actually on purpose for once. I figure Agatha would pick up on some of them after living in America for a year.

**Agatha:**

I can’t believe Penny convinced me to do this.

She asked me to come visit her, and of course I couldn’t turn her down. Other than my family, she’s the only person I keep in contact with from my old life. I know she lives with Simon now, though. I haven’t talked to him in over a year.

All I can think as I step on the plane is, ‘Well, this should be interesting.’

\-----

It’s definitely interesting.

It’s definitely not the good kind of interesting.

Apparently, Penny didn’t tell Simon I was coming.

Apparently, Simon invited Baz over.

Apparently, they’re together now, if the fact that I walked in on them making out is any indication.

And for some reason, Penny thought it would be a good idea to leave the three of us alone while she picked up lunch. So we’ve been sitting in silence for at least ten minutes. What can I possibly say in this situation? I’m tempted to tell Simon about everything I’ve seen and done in California, but it just feels awkward after I haven’t talked to him in so long. I thought we’d stay close after we broke up, but that just didn’t happen. He wanted to stay together so badly, and I didn’t. I wanted to escape everything with the slightest connection to magic, and he was the human embodiment of it. I knew I would never get away if I was around him.

Simon keeps shooting panicked looks between Baz and me, but Baz is ignoring him to glare at me. I don’t know why he’s being so hostile. If anyone here should be, it’s me. I still don’t trust him, but I guess it says something that he hasn’t drained Simon in the time I’ve been gone.

I still don’t understand why he’s acting this way. He wanted me at some point, didn’t he? Why does he hate me now? He was always watching me, always—

Oh.

Baz was never looking at _me,_ was he?

My eyes drift to their interlocked hands.

Was it _always_ Simon?

How long was he watching Simon? How long were both of us misinterpreting that gaze?

I feel so stupid.

My eyes haven’t left their hands, and it makes my chest hurt. I don’t love Simon, not like that, but some part of me always thought he would just be mine, even if we weren’t together.

Did I think he wouldn’t eventually move on? Did I think he’d keep wanting me, even when I was thousands of miles away and not talking to him?

…Why didn’t I talk to him? Didn’t I say that we would always be friends?

I need to fix things.

“Simon--” I start, but Baz instantly cuts me off with a snarl. It was quiet enough that he probably doesn’t even realize I heard it.

Simon turns to Baz, rubbing his knee. “Shh. I told you not to worry about it,” he says quietly, and Baz looks annoyed but nods.

Worry about what? Does he think I’m a threat? To him, or to _them_?

“What were you going to say?” Simon asks me.

What _was_ I going to say? How can I possibly a fix a year filled with silence, and even longer filled with misunderstandings? I don’t think I can. I need to say _something_ , though. _More_ silence won’t do either of us any good.

“So…” I have no idea what to say. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt more awkward in my life, even surrounded my strangers in a new country. “You two are together now?”

Simon blushes. “Penny didn’t tell you?”

“No, she left that out.” I don’t mention that she stopped trying to talk about Simon after a while because I didn’t reply to any text with his name in it.

Baz puts an arm around Simon’s shoulder and pulls him closer. “Well yes, we are.”

“When did that happen?”

Baz hums in thought. “I guess it was… Before you left, actually.”

My chest twinges again. I can’t deny that hurts a little. “Oh. And you… didn’t tell me?”

Simon rubs the back of his neck. “Well, things were kind of crazy. It was right near the end of everything with the Humdrum and the Mage, and… You weren’t exactly around much to talk to. I’m sorry, Agatha.”

A thought suddenly occurs to me. “Is that why you were at his house? Is that why you went _back_?” He nods. “Then you actively hid it, from both me _and_ Penny! Why didn’t you just say something?” It just keeps getting worse. Baz doesn’t exactly look happy, either.

Suddenly, Simon doesn’t look so embarrassed anymore. Now he just looks upset. “How could I, Agatha?” he shouts. “You were accusing him of trying to _kill_ me! You would not have reacted well, and you know it. Besides, like I said, there were bigger things going on. I wouldn’t want you two to worry about something that I was still trying to figure out myself.”

Why are we doing this? We should be forgiving each other for all the ways we’ve screwed up, not accusing each other of even more mistakes!

I take a deep breath. “Okay. You’re right. I’m sorry, Simon. You too, Baz. I’m sorry I misinterpreted… everything.”

Baz nods and gives me the first smile I’ve seen from him today. I think he understands that I mean both his intentions toward Simon that day and the feelings I thought he had for me before that.

“It’s okay,” Simon says. “Well… It will be. I think there are probably a lot of things we need to talk about before things are better, but that can wait, as long as we have time.” He says it like it’s a question.

I nod. I won’t avoid him anymore. I didn’t even fully realize it until I saw him, but I miss him.

“For now,” Simon continues with a small smile, “How’s America?”

I grin. This is something I can talk about. This is something that doesn’t involve the tangle of feelings and misunderstandings between us.

\-----

**Penelope:**

I take my time getting lunch, walking the long way there and back.

When I step through the door, Agatha has moved to the chair closer to Baz and Simon. She’s telling a story, gesticulating excitedly, and the other two are snickering. I smile and start handing out the food.

I was hoping that would work.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, have the obligatory cuddle!fic. I don’t think I’ve written one before, so we’ll see how this goes. Can you tell yet that I’m addicted to domestic sap? XD

**Simon:**

I roll to the edge of the bed and try to climb out, but Baz’s arm suddenly flies around my waist. I laugh. “I thought you were still asleep.”

“I was,” Baz grumbles. “You moved and woke me up.”

“Sorry,” I say. I lean over to kiss him. “I just need to get dressed, and then I’ll be out and you can go back to bed.”

He pulls me back against him and rests his forehead between my shoulder blades, shaking his head.

“I have to go to class, Baz!”

“You don’t _have_ to,” he says. I can practically hear him pouting.

“If I want to pass, I do,” I reply, but I’m laughing. He always teases me about how much I like holding hands, but he’s obsessed with cuddling. His grip is tight, but I manage to wriggle around so I can face him.

“Is passing really that important?” Baz asks, finally opening one eye to glower at me. “Would you really rather go to class than stay here with me?”

I fall against the pillow with a sigh, and he smirks. I’ll keep putting up a fight just for appearances, but he knows he’s already won. I hate waking up early for uni anyways. I don’t need very much incentive to avoid it, but his proposal is more than enough. “Of course not. If I could, I would choose you and a bed any day,” I say, and his smirk grows. “I really should leave, though.”

“I don’t think you should,” he argues, snuggling up closer and throwing one leg over mine. He’s freezing, but I don’t mind. I usually feel too hot anyways.

“Yes I should.”

“Fine, but I don’t think you’re going to,” Baz corrects himself.

I sigh again. “No. No, I’m not.”

He grins, and I curl up against his chest. “I win.”

“Yes, you win… You have to stop doing this, though.”

“Never,” he says into my hair, sounding as smug as ever.

“I’ll fail my classes if you don’t.”

“It’s a small price to pay to keep you here all day.”

“You aren’t the one paying that price!” I object.

“I suppose not,” he says, rubbing small circles into my back.

“You’re a jerk,” I mutter, but I’m already starting to drift off again. I can feel his skin getting warmer where mine is heating it.

Baz hums, I think in agreement. He never denies it when I say things like that. I can never decide whether that’s amusing or sad.

“Love you anyways, though,” I mumble.

I feel his chest move when he huffs out a laugh, and the last thing I hear before I fall asleep is his whisper, “I love you too, Simon.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm… I think the rating is going up because of a certain part of this, just in case. I… Welp. This is the first fic I’ve written that has any explicit content. I’ve read plenty, so you’d think I wouldn’t be so embarrassed, but writing it, I am. That part is awkward and embarrassing and I’m sorry if it’s terrible.
> 
> Also, you might notice there are lots of references to things I’ve mentioned in other chapters, and things that might be mentioned in future chapters.
> 
> Obviously, warning for some sexual content in this chapter.

**Simon:**

All the lists I made while I was at Watford, like the list of things I couldn’t think about over summer, are gone.

I’ve started a whole new set of lists, though.

That first night with Baz, in the forest, I realized that I had a list of things I wanted to do to him. That list has just kept growing:

1\. Touching his hair, in general. I love to run my hands through it while we’re falling asleep. I like to grab it when we kiss. And it turns out, when there’s no cross to stop us from moving closer together, Baz loves having his hair pulled as much as I love to pull it.

2\. Biting his neck. Baz loves to tease me about this one and joke that I should be the vampire. The first time I did it, it was because I thought about the fact that he _was_ one and thought it would be funny for some reason. When I bit him, though, Baz arched up into me and gasped my name. _That’s_ why I keep doing it. For that beautiful reaction.

3\. Making him blush. This one is a bit more difficult. Not so much because Baz is hard to embarrass (I’ve actually discovered that it’s amazingly easy), but because he can only blush right after he’s fed. He usually tries to avoid being around anyone, even me, when he’s feeding or has just finished. When I can catch him in that time period, though, it’s brilliant to watch that color flare up from his neck to the tips of his ears.

4\. Sucking his cock. Before Baz, I never would have expected this to be something that I would have the slightest interest in. To be fair, it isn’t a great experience on its own, and the first time I tried I almost vomited on him. That was not fun, and he almost didn’t let me try again. But once I started to get it right… Well, this is another case where his reaction is everything. He grabs my hair, but doesn’t push or pull, and throws his head back. He closes his eyes and sometimes bites out a curse. But he always opens his eyes again and looks down, because he knows by now that I’ll always be watching him. (Mostly because I know he gets off on it.) It’s way past being worth it.

5\. Holding his hand. Okay, yes, this is incredibly tame after that last one. It’s still true, though. After I lost my magic and the Mage died, I felt like Baz was my only tether to the world for a while. I felt numb and lost, and clinging to his hand was the only way I felt any kind of connection. Since I managed to work through things a little, I don’t necessarily _need_ that connection anymore, but I still enjoy it. Plus, I’ll admit, I like being able to walk around and, in a subtle way, show off that he’s mine.

6\. Kissing him. Self-explanatory. Preferably all the time.

I also have a list of things Baz does that I love:

1\. Kissing my moles and counting my freckles. I don’t really get it, but he seems fascinated by them. It’s cute, and I love to see how intent he gets about it sometimes.

2\. Feeding me. Not literally. He doesn’t hold food up to my mouth or anything like that. But nearly every time we’re together, he brings over food or cooks or takes me out to eat. He knows how much I love food, and he always takes the time to consider that.

3\. Cuddling. When we lay together, Baz always wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer. He tucks his chin over my head, and I feel safer than I have in years.

4\. Getting along with Penny. They bicker a lot, and it made me worry at first. After all, Penny is my best friend, and Baz is my boyfriend. It’s really important to me that they get along. I’ve come to realize that it’s just their idea of fun, though. It’s great to see them joking around or having intelligent debates. It’s a nightmare when they decide to team up against me, though.

5\. Pinning me to the wall. He’s obsessed with it, and I have no objections at all.

6\. Petting my tail. I’m not sure why Baz enjoys this so much, but when we’re sitting on the couch or in his car, he’ll pull my tail (visible or not) into his lap and just pet absentmindedly pet it. It’s soothing.

7\. Being a sarcastic jerk. I know this one sounds weird, but… As much as I love seeing his softer side, it’s just nice to know that some things will never change.

Not all of my lists are about Baz, though. I also have a list of things I love about the flat:

1\. Living with Penny. She always talked about us getting a flat together after we left Watford, but I never thought it could actually happen. I always kind of assumed I would be die before graduation, and if by some miracle we did all survive, I thought she would move to America to be with her boyfriend. But somehow, we’re here.

2\. All the books. I’m not a huge reader, but Penny is. It’s just nice to see them stacked on every available surface in some kind of organized chaos that only she seems to understand.

3\. Our neighbors. They’re a nice family who always greet me when I run into them and don’t complain if they hear any shouting or crashes. Also, I forgot to have Penny spell my wings and tail invisible one day, and their youngest, a six-year-old boy, saw them. He gaped in amazement and asked to touch them. I let him, and he just looked so incredibly happy. It made my day. Since then, he always looks at me like he’s hoping to see them again, but I don’t think he’s said a word about it to his parents.

4\. Baz’s drawer. I didn’t notice for a long time, but Baz’s stuff just started accumulating at our place. Extra clothes he brought for when he stayed over, textbooks, a toothbrush… One day I realized that I had been gradually collecting them in one of my drawers and moving my own things out of it to make space, and suddenly he had his own drawer in my room.

5\. The view. From the balcony, we have a gorgeous view of the city, and on clear nights, the sky. I like to sit out there at night and watch the lights. Below me, everyone is bustling around and lights are constantly blinking on and off as people go about their lives. Above me, little pinpricks of light appear in the sky and it reminds me of the night Baz brought the stars to us. It’s calming, which is a nice change.

6\. It’s home. It’s permanent. I don’t have to jump around every year, or know that I’ll have to leave it for a few months at a time. It will always be there. Baz and Penny will always be there. And it’s home.


	14. Chapter 14

**Baz:**

“I want to be your boyfriend. Your terrible boyfriend.” That’s what Simon said when this all started.

And he is. He is my terrible boyfriend.

He eats like an animal and leaves crumbs everywhere.

He kicks me in his sleep. His wings knock me out of bed when he has nightmares.

He deliberately pisses me off just to see if he can get me to show my fangs, and embarrasses me to see if he can get me to turn red.

He ignores me when it’s convenient, then expects all the attention in the world when he wants it.

He gets so engrossed in things (like Doctor Who reruns) that he forgets the rest of the world exists for days at a time.

Simon Snow is the worst boyfriend ever.

But he also indulges me when I just need him nearby, or when I obsess over his moles or his mouth.

He gives me smiles that could light up the entire world.

He brings me silly little gifts that he finds, or makes them himself.

He sends me pictures of random things that amuse him, or that he thinks I’ll enjoy.

He’s patient when I don’t know how to express myself or don’t want to be around anyone, even him.

He comforts me when I have my own nightmares, and knows exactly what to say when I get trapped inside my own head for too long.

He risks getting caught to fly to me when he’s feeling impatient, but won’t risk me getting caught feeding on rats.

Every time I leave his flat, he kisses me before he lets me go, and he makes a point to remind me that he loves me at least once a day, usually more.

Simon Snow is the best boyfriend ever.


	15. Chapter 15

**Simon:**

Penny and Baz are making me anxious. I know they only have the best intentions, but they keep tiptoeing around like they think I’ll break at any second, and it’s driving me mad.

Penny’s tea has gone cold. She lifts her hand and starts, **“Some--”** She stops, looking guilty, and stands to take it into the kitchen. Baz shifts uncomfortably and squeezes my hand.

I take a deep breath and don’t speak.

\-----

“How is he doing?” Penny asks, like I can’t hear them if they stand in the hall.

“I don’t know. He still won’t talk.”

“You should stay with him.”

“I am, as much as I can.”

“Good.”

I hear Penny’s bedroom door shut, and a moment later, Baz appears. He sits down next to me and I grab his hand again. “It’ll be okay, Simon,” he whispers, kissing the top of my head.

I wish they’d stop whispering at me all the time. I wish they’d stop talking like I’m not here.

I don’t say a word.

\-----

When I walk in, Baz is lazily pointing his wand at some books across the room. **“Up, up--”** he starts, and I tense in excitement. He sees me and immediately drops it, though.

“Merlin, Simon! I didn’t know you were there! Make some noise when you come into a room, will you?” I know it’s his way of asking me to talk.

So I do.

“Stop it, Baz!”

He jolts and stands up. “Stop what?” he asks worriedly. He tries to grab my hands, but I shake him off and pace away.

“Stop treating me like I’m made of glass! Stop whispering everything! Stop holding back and avoiding magic just because you want to be sensitive!” Penny peeks out of her room when she hears me yelling, and I address her, too. “You two aren’t helping! It’s bad enough that I can’t do magic myself, but you’re taking it _all_ away from me!”

“Okay. Okay, I’m sorry,” Baz says, and he looks so sincere and sad that I let him take my hands this time. He glances at Penny, and she nods. “We’ll stop. I promise.”

I nod and let out a huge sigh. Suddenly I’m so tired.

\-----

I sit back and look around. Penny is curled up in her chair, watching a movie. Dirty plates are scattered on the coffee table. Baz tries to stand up, but I pull him back down.

He glances down at me, surprised, then nods with a small smile and pulls out his wand. **“Cleanliness is next to godliness.”** The plates are sparkling clean. It’s a spell that Penny finally created after complaining so much about **“Clean as a whistle”** not getting rid of germs. It works amazingly.

I breathe. “This is how it should be.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Baz:**

The Insidious Humdrum has been entirely too quiet lately, which is why I’m not exactly surprised when he finally sends a fucking griffin after us. Well, after Simon.

Moments after the thing lands in front of him, Snow’s sword is out. His wand joins it a few seconds later, and I practically start twitching as I imagine him pushing his magic into me again. I’ve never claimed to be anything but an addict when it comes to Simon Snow.

That isn’t what happens, though. Even though Bunce and I are _right there_ , bloody Snow with his hero complex charges into battle on his own, as usual. He starts trying to hack at the griffin with his sword, but it has the advantage of being able to fly and avoids every attack he throws at it.

I know the exact moment that Snow remembers magic exists. The air is suddenly superheated and filled with the smell of wood and smoke. Flames are flicking around his wrists, and I can nearly hear the bomb inside him ticking.

I look around and finally notice the crowd of students who have gather to watch the fight. They’re mostly curious first-years who somehow missed the dragon and haven’t yet seen the spectacle that is the Chosen One facing off against dark creatures.

I know that he’ll subconsciously try to protect them all from his own magic, but if Snow accidentally hurt even a single child, I’m sure he would never forgive himself.

Well, I’ve always wanted to talk him down, and in a weird way, I’m probably allowed to now.

I motion to Bunce and she starts blasting every spell she knows to keep the griffin away from anyone. Then I rush up and grab Snow’s shoulder. He looks at me, slowly blinking like he’s just waking up. Good. That means he’s not completely gone yet.

“Shh, Simon, calm down. Deep breaths,” I say quietly, staring into his eyes to make sure his attention stays on me. “No need to set the school on fire. That won’t help. I’m here. We can handle this.”

He nods slightly, swallowing, but he’s not breathing right and the flames are still slowly climbing up his arm.

“In. Out,” I direct. I rub his arm just a bit, a small enough movement that he’ll feel it but nobody else will see it. “In. Out. It’s okay.”

Simon follows my directions for a minute, then nods more steadily. “Okay. Let’s do it,” he says. I can sense his magic and it’s the strangest thing. It feels like it’s being sucked straight back into him instead of leaking out into the air.

“Finally!” Bunce shouts. She’s clearly tiring. Bunce is pretty strong, but holding off a griffin would be a challenge for _anyone_ other than the Greatest Mage.

I take Simon’s hand and hope nobody will read too far into it. We haven’t really talked about it yet, about whether we’ll tell anyone about… _us_. I wouldn’t really mind, but I have no idea how he’d react.

I stop caring a second later, when I feel never-ending power rushing through me. _That’s_ what I was craving.

I aim my wand at the griffin, draw on that power, and twist it into something controllable. **“Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home!”** If it worked on a dragon, I don’t see why it wouldn’t work now. And it does. I don’t have to repeat the entire nursery rhyme this time. I don’t drain all of my own magic. Simon’s power feeds mine and amplifies it, and the griffin is gone in less than a minute. By the time it’s over, we’re both exhausted, but nothing has exploded and nobody is hurt. It feels like a victory to me, and from the tired smiles on Snow and Bunce’s faces, I’d say they agree.

“Thanks,” Simon says.

He doesn’t elaborate until we make it back to the tower. I sit on my bed and he follows. One of his hands reaches for mine and the other winds itself in my hair, and we kiss languidly. After a minute, he pulls back. “Thank you, for making sure I didn’t hurt anyone.”

“You wouldn’t have,” I insist. I know it’s true.

He shakes his head. “I never know for sure. Half the time, I don’t even know what happened until somebody tells me afterward. I’m not… there when I go off.”

“I know. I also know that you would never hurt anyone, even when you’re not completely in control.” Simon looks like he’s about to keep protesting, so I cut him off. “But I’m here. If that makes you feel better, I’m here. And I will be for the foreseeable future.”

Simon just grins at me. After a few seconds, he seems to notice how much he’s blushing and buries his face into my neck, laughing.

I wish I could promise more. I wish I could say that I’ll be here forever. I don’t see any way it could happen, though, unless we managed to change fate itself.


	17. Chapter 17

**Penelope:**

I’m about to walk out the door when Baz suddenly stops pacing around the living room. “Penelope!” he says. That gets my attention. He rarely calls me by my first name. (And when he does, it’s always “Penelope,” not “Penny.” It’s actually a bit annoying.)

“What’s up?” I ask.

Baz looks really worried about something. He strides up to me. “People… celebrate… anniversaries, don’t they?”

I can’t help but laugh. “Some people do, yes.”

“I don’t know what to do, or what to get Simon,” he admits. Another rare occurrence.

“Look, Baz… Simon loves you.” He rolls his eyes at this, but I can see that he’s trying to hide a smile. “But… Don’t get offended. Simon is forgetful, and incredibly single-minded. The truth is, he probably won’t even remember that your anniversary is coming up. He probably won’t get you a present.”

“That’s fine. I don’t need anything. I just need to know what to get _him_.”

“I can’t really help you there. I think Simon has everything he needs right now, and he’s not very

open about things that he _wants_.”

Baz sighs in annoyance. “Fine, then at least help me figure out what to _do_. Should I take him out on a date? Cook a nice fancy meal for him? I haven’t had to deal with this before, Bunce!”

I never thought I would see a vampire fretting over anniversary plans. It really is a struggle to not laugh. “It’s up to you, Baz! I’m sure he’ll appreciate whatever you decide to do. The fact that you’re putting in effort at all is great. If you do decide to stay in, though, just let me know. I’ll stay out of your way that night. Actually… Now that I think about it, what day _is_ your anniversary?”

“December 23rd,” he answers immediately.

“The night before you leave? Isn’t that a bit much?”

Baz rolls his eyes again. “I didn’t exactly _choose_ the date, Bunce,” he sneers.

“I know that, but couldn’t you celebrate it a day early or something?” He shakes his head but offers no explanation. “Alright, then that’s your choice. I need to get going, but I’m sure you’ll think of something,” I say, clapping him on the shoulder.

I step out, but I can hear Baz groan and go back to pacing as I close the door.

\-----

A few days later, Baz grabs my arm as I’m walking past the kitchen. “Bunce!”

“Yes?” I ask. Somehow I know it’s about his anniversary panic again.

He gestures to a tray of scones. “I got the recipe from Cook Pritchard. Do these taste like the sour cherry scones at Watford? Be honest.”

I bite into one and almost gasp. “It’s perfect, Baz. Honestly. They taste exactly like the ones from Watford. I’m a bit scared he’ll start crying, actually.” His eyes widen. “I’m kidding. Kind of. Simon will love them, and if he _does_ cry, they’ll be happy tears.” I wouldn’t put it past Simon to literally cry over food.

Baz takes a deep breath. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” I say, turning to leave.

“Wait, Penelope… One more thing.”

“What’s that?” I ask.

He rubs the back of his neck and stares at the floor for a minute. Finally, he looks up and asks, “How would you feel about… a cat? Living in your flat?”

I furrow my eyebrows. Whatever I was expecting, that wasn’t it. “I… I guess I wouldn’t mind, so long as I don’t have to pay the deposit and it doesn’t pee in my room.”

Baz nods decisively. “Right. Thanks. And I… I decided we should stay here for our anniversary.” He looks uncomfortable, like he doesn’t like the thought of pushing me out, but I’m the one who suggested it in the first place.

I smile. “Don’t worry, I can find somewhere else to be for a few hours. Just let me know when.”

\-----

Morgana, how could I be so stupid?

Not only did I forget my wand at home in the first place, but I had to do it on the same night I promised Baz I’d be out!

I open the door as quietly as I can, creeping down the hallway. Please don’t let them be having sex. Please don’t let them be having sex. Please don’t let them be having sex.

As I pass the kitchen, I peek through to the dining room and nearly sigh in relief. Baz and Simon are sitting there, holding hands on top of the table with a veritable feast laid out in front of them. I hold in a giggle as I realize that Baz put a real tablecloth down and went for a romantic candlelit dinner. I really hope he’s careful with those candles. I think he forgets that he’s flammable sometimes.

I grab my wand out of my room and sneak out of the flat as quietly as I came in.

\-----

When I come back several hours later, long after the time Baz specified, the house is deathly quiet. I worry for a moment, but nothing seems to have caught on fire and there’s no blood anywhere.

Then I notice that Simon’s door is cracked. I peek in and see him and Baz asleep, a cream-colored cat curled up between them.

I smile and close the door, and let my boys have their rest.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’ve been following this fic since I started posting it, you might have noticed I didn’t post as much the last few days. That’s because I was mostly working on this chapter, which is about the length of 8 or 9 others put together.
> 
> I’m pretty happy with how this one turned out, honestly. I think this and chapter 15 are my favorites so far.

**Simon:**

When Baz decided to go to his family’s home for Christmas and invited me again, I was only thinking about the fact that I _wanted_ to spend Christmas with him this time. I wasn’t thinking about what a nightmare it would be. I wasn’t thinking about the fact that it would be somewhere completely different because I ruined their old house. I wasn’t thinking about the fact that Baz told his family about us, and his homophobic father probably hated me. I wasn’t thinking about the fact that Fiona probably still wanted to kill me.

I said yes.

\-----

The drive there on Christmas Eve is pleasant enough. When Baz isn’t casting **“Make way for the king”** or **“Time flies,”** we hold hands and argue over the music.

As we drive further into the countryside, Baz says, “We’ll be going to the summer house; that’s where they’re all living for now. So you won’t have to deal with any wraiths this time.”

I think it’s supposed to be encouraging. Instead, it’s my first reminder that maybe this won’t be the happy holiday scene with my boyfriend that I’d envisioned.

\-----

When we finally arrive, things start out okay. Baz’s parents greet us with smiles, Daphne hugs us (a bit awkward, but nothing unmanageable), and there’s no mention of the fact that I accidentally destroyed their old home.

I don’t see any of his siblings, but I can hear the scampering of tiny feet upstairs, so I know they must be here.

As soon as possible, Baz rushes me away and up to his room. The door closes behind us and he leans against it, sighing.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. In fact, that went much better than I thought it would. I’m just worried that maybe the rest of the week won’t go as well.”

I step closer and rub his shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay. I promise I’ll be on my best behavior. And, you know… If you were so worried about it, you didn’t have to invite me. I wouldn’t get angry. Sure, I’d be a little lonely, but I can handle a week on my own.”

Baz averts his eyes. “Maybe you can, but I’m not so sure I could. Anyway, it’s not you I’m worried about ‘being on your best behavior,’ it’s _them_.”

“I can handle whatever they throw at me,” I say, trying to give my best reassuring smile.

Baz scoffs. “We’ll see. For now, we need to get you into some nice clothes. Dinner will be soon,” he says, pushing away from the door. He starts digging through his wardrobe, and I follow, peeking over his shoulder. He pulls out several suits and holds them in front of me, finally deciding on a black one. He pushes it into my arms. “Change.”

I change into the suit and walk to the mirror on one wall. I can see Baz sitting on his bed behind me (yes, I did eventually figure out that he has a reflection, and Baz had the time of his life laughing at how long it took me to realize). I do a slow turn under the guise of checking the fit, but really, I’m just watching his eyes darken in the mirror. I don’t think he knows I’ve figured it out, but he loves to see me in suits. And in his clothes. He finds any excuse he can for either one, so putting the two together practically has him drooling. Not that he would ever _actually_ drool, but I’ve learned to read the tiny changes in his expression, words, and body language over the past year. I’m finally fluent in Baz.

Baz catches me staring at his reflection and stands up with a smirk. He wraps his arms around my waist and rests his chin on my shoulder. “You’re gorgeous,” he says, kissing the mole on my neck.

I turn my head so I can catch his lips. “Your turn.”

He lingers for a minute, then heads back to choose a suit for himself, grimacing. He prefers jeans and t-shirts. I do too, but I certainly don’t mind his fancy formal clothes, either.

\-----

“Nice of you to join us again, Simon,” Daphne says with a smile when we sit down at the table. It’s unnerving. She’s always polite and smiling, so I have no idea what she’s actually thinking.

“Thank you for having me.”

We start passing the food around, and I’m careful to take less than I did last time. My stomach is too tied in knots to eat much, anyways.

Baz talks to his father about classes, Daphne politely asks me about simple things like the drive up and life in the city, and everything seems to be going well. Then there’s a lull in the conversation and Baz’s father has that creepy smile again.

“So, are you seeing anybody, Basilton? You were getting on quite well with Wellbelove, weren’t you?”

Baz tenses and grips my hand under the table. “Father--”

“Or perhaps the Bunce girl? Her mother is the headmistress at Watford now, and you’ve been spending a lot of time with her…” I’m not sure if he’s purposefully _trying_ to upset me, or if he’s just that deep in denial.

“Only because--”

He gets cut off when a glob of mashed potatoes flies across the table and straight into my face. I sputter for a moment and wipe it off. Daphne stands and rushes over to the high chair. “Oh, James… I’m so sorry, Simon.”

“It’s okay,” I say with a forced smile. She picks up the baby and hurries out of the room. The girls giggle quietly.

Suddenly, Baz takes a deep breath and stands up, pulling me with him. “Father, I’ve told you before. I’m gay, and I’m seeing Simon. You’ll have to face it sooner or later.”

Then he drags me out of the dining room and down the hall with a vice grip on my hand. When he finally stops walking, he looks to me with a panicked expression.

“It’s okay. It’s over now. You stood up to him, and it’s done. He can accept it or not; that’s his choice, but you’ve made yours. Thank you.”

“I just can’t believe he was so obvious about it,” Baz says, slouching a bit. “I’m sorry. I know he doesn’t want to accept that I’m queer, but I didn’t think he would start asking me about girls. Bunce, for Merlin’s sake! Can you imagine?”

I can’t. I start laughing at the thought, and he joins in after a minute. Then he reaches up to wipe the last bit of potatoes from my face. “I’m sorry about my brother, too. That was a disaster, wasn’t it? I know we were supposed to stay for a week, but we can leave after the Christmas celebrations tomorrow if you want.”

I shake my head. “It’s okay. He’s just a baby; babies do things like that. And I’m fine with staying for the full week as long as you still want to. I think I can survive seven days of awkward conversations with your family.”

“I just hope _I_ can.”

\-----

Luckily, we get the rest of the night to ourselves. When Baz’s father finds out that I’ll be staying in Baz’s room, he sneers but doesn’t say anything.

Of course there’s a knock on the door as soon as we’ve started snogging on Baz’s bed. I push him away a bit, but he just says, “Ignore it.”

A minute later, though, there’s another knock, and then the door opens. I jump away from Baz like he’s on fire (and doesn’t that image bring back so many nightmares I’ve had in the last year). He rolls his eyes. “What have I told you, Mordelia?”

“You told me to knock. I did,” she replies with an angelic smile. I don’t believe it for a second. She’s going to be just as devious as her brother.

“I’ve also told you to wait until I say, ‘come in,’” Baz says.

“But you weren’t ever going to say it,” she answers knowingly.

“Exactly.”

“You’re so mean. Why do you get to hog Simon? You see him _all the time_! We want to play with him, too!” That has me blinking in confusion, especially when two more heads pop around the door frame, nodding in agreement.

Baz sighs in annoyance, but says, “Fine, come in.” He pulls away from me to lean against the headboard, and pats the bed next to him.

All three of the girls come running in and jump up. One of the twins climbs into his lap, and the other crawls over to lean against me. “Can you tell us a story, Chosen One?” she asks.

Baz purses his lips. “Don’t call him that, Rose; his name is Simon.” That nearly makes me laugh; he still doesn’t call me Simon very often himself.

“Mordelia told us to call him that! She said it’s ‘respectful!’”

Baz gives her a stern look, and she shoots back that innocent smile again.

“It’s okay, Baz,” I say before he can start a stupid fight. “Of course I’ll tell you a story.”

The kids all clap and squeal excitedly, and I launch into a story about Baz and I fighting the merwolves. We never really faced off against them together, but I don’t want to tell stories about any of the real adventures we’ve been through. Some of the memories still feel a bit raw. Baz is just satisfied that he gets to kill merwolves in this story.

As I get into the story, the girls settle down to listen, entranced. It’s much more comfortable than I expected. At one point, I describe a merwolf lunging to attack, and I lunge at little Rosie to tickle her. She squeals and kicks and giggles until I stop, then sits up with a huge grin.

I glance over to Baz. He’s holding Clara, who’s fallen asleep. He pretends that he doesn’t care sometimes, but he’s really great with kids. He’s looking at Rosie and me with a fond smile, and I grin back. I know what he’s thinking, because I’m thinking it too. We both know it’s way too early to say anything, though.

I turn away, blushing. Mordelia is curled at the foot of the bed. I had no idea she’d fallen asleep, too.

“Look, Rose. Your sisters are asleep, and Father Christmas will be here in a few hours. I think it’s time to go to bed,” Baz says.

She pouts at him. “Can’t we finish the story first?”

Baz looks to me, and I nod. “Alright. We can finish the story, but when it’s over, you have to get into bed. No whinging. Okay?”

“Okay!” she agrees, cuddling back up against me and wrapping her arms around one of mine.

When I finish the story, I pick up Mordelia and carry her to her room. Then we head to the twins’ room, Baz still carrying Clara and Rosie padding along next to us, holding my hand.

“Goodnight, Rosie,” I say, tucking her into bed. I start to pull away, but she tugs at my hand. When I look back down, she holds her arms out wide. I smile and hug her.

“Night-night, Simon. Thank you for the story. It was really good.”

“You’re welcome. Goodnight.”

Baz finishes tucking Clara in, walks over to kiss Rosie on the forehead, and leads me out of their room and back to his own. We dress for bed quietly. I packed my own pajamas, but I indulge him and pretend I didn’t, so he gives me a pair of his.

After we lay down in his bed, watching each other, he finally speaks up. “Thank you, Simon. You were great with my sisters.”

I laugh a little. “You don’t have to thank me for that, Baz. They’re sweet, and they’re your sisters. It’s not like I would be _mean_ to them.”

“Maybe not, but you don’t have to indulge them like that, either.”

“Neither do you,” I say with a sneaky smile. As though I didn’t already know he was actually a huge softie.

Baz just rolls his eyes and pulls me closer, with a quick kiss. “Get some sleep. Tomorrow will probably be just as exhausting as today was.”

I nod and roll over, snuggling back against him. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Goodnight, Simon,” he says pointedly, arm wrapping around so his hand rests over my heart.

I link my fingers with his. “Goodnight, Baz. Love you.”

Baz presses his lips to the back of my neck. “I love you, too.”

\-----

I’m woken up early in the morning by the bed suddenly jolting. I jump up, or at least try to, but Baz’s arm is a dead weight hanging over me. I glance down the bed and see Rosie bouncing up and down excitedly.

I put my finger over my lips. “Don’t wake your brother up,” I whisper.

She nods and copies my motion. “Will you come play with us?” I’m sure she’s _trying_ to be quiet, but I don’t think children really know how to do that.

“Okay,” I say. “Go wait outside the room.”

She grins at me and jumps off the bed, running out the door and closing it as quietly as she can. I carefully extract myself from Baz’s arms and get dressed. I wish I could just use a spell to leave him a message, or at least to find some paper and a pen. Eventually, though, I manage to hunt them down in the drawer of his bedside table. I scribble a note and leave it on the pillow, surprised that he hasn’t woken up yet. Yesterday must have been even more tiring than he let on.

I sneak out and follow Rosie to the living room (or _a_ living room, at least. This house is so huge I get the feeling there’s probably more than one). Clara is already waiting there, sitting on the floor with a stack of dolls and stuffed animals in front of her. Rosie and I kneel down around the pile, and Clara shoves a stuffed dragon into my hands, staring at my wings. I laugh.

We spend the morning playing make-believe games. I’m the dragon trying to steal all their gold (a few necklaces that are clearly their mother’s; I hope they got permission to use them), Rosie is the damsel in distress, and Clara is the brave knight that has to save her. It’s the liveliest I’ve seen Clara. So far, she’s mostly been quiet and reserved, just going along with whatever her sisters do. Now she takes on her role excitedly as her doll swings around a little plastic sword.

Just as Clara deals the finishing blow, I glance up and see Baz leaning against the door frame. He’s got that small smile again, but when he notices me looking at him, he straightens up and walks into the room. “It’s time to open presents,” he says, and the twins’ eyes light up. They jump up and run out. I listen to the pitter-pattering of their feet for a few seconds before Baz holds out his hand and pulls me to standing.

He starts to lead me out, but I have to ask. “Do you want me to go wait in your room? I don’t want to intrude on your family time on Christmas morning.”

“Nonsense. I have to give you your present, too, you know.”

“Oh.” I blink. “Okay. I need to go get yours, then.”

Baz shows me the way back to his room and I rummage through my suitcase until I find the little package. I’m glad I thought to wrap it before we came here.

Then I follow him to yet another huge room, where his parents, siblings, and aunt are all waiting. I freeze for a moment. I wasn’t expecting Fiona to be here. I guess the faint punk music I heard when we arrived yesterday should have given me a clue. She doesn’t stand up or react in any way when we walk in, though, so I assume I’m safe for the moment. Baz and I sit on an oversized couch, and Mordelia starts passing out the gifts from under the tree.

Baz and I exchange our gifts, but after that I just sit awkwardly for a few minutes. I didn’t think to get anything for his family, so I’m glad they didn’t buy me anything either.

After everyone has their presents, Mordelia raises a questioning eyebrow at the twins, and they hop up. The three of them walk over and each hand me an envelope. I let go of Baz’s hand to take them. The girls stay where they are until I’ve opened each envelope. Inside of each is a card with a drawing.

Mordelia smiles that sneaky grin while I open hers, which shows Baz and I kissing on his bed. Oops. I guess we didn’t move away fast enough. I stash it back in the envelope before his parents can see.

Clara’s is a picture of me with my wand out, fighting an enormous shadow that I imagine is how she pictures the Insidious Humdrum. If only that’s what it was. The picture makes me a bit sad now, but mostly I’m just touched that she would take the time to make it.

Rosie bounces on the balls of her feet when I look at her card. It’s the story I told them last night, of Baz and I fighting the merwolves at Watford. She must have been up even earlier than I thought to have time to make this.

I pull them all into a hug. “Thank you so much. Happy Christmas, you guys.”

“Happy Christmas, Simon!” they chime simultaneously. Rosie kisses my cheek, and then the three of them run back to their spots on the floor.

Baz takes my hand back, squeezing it briefly, and I suddenly realize that all eyes in the room were focused on the whole exchange, and my own are tearing up. I wipe them and smile and shrug awkwardly, and the attention shifts away again. The kids get their stockings, excitedly chattering about all the goodies they find in them, and then the bigger gifts are opened.

As I watch everyone unwrap their packages, I can’t help but smile. As strange as it may be, and as nervous as some of the people here may make me, it feels like family.

Suddenly, Baz nudges me with his elbow. “What are you waiting for? Open it,” he says, gesturing to the present on my lap.

“Okay. You open yours, too,” I say, biting my lip. He nods, and we start in on them.

Inside of the box, I find a plain silver chain. I look at him, my eyebrows furrowed, and he shrugs. “I’ve noticed you reaching for your cross sometimes, so I thought I’d get you something to replace it.”

I smile. I rarely notice when I do that, but of course Baz would pick up on my little nervous habits. I hook the chain around my neck and motion to his box.

He finishes opening it and stares for a moment. “I… How did… You didn’t steal this, did you?” he finally manages.

I laugh. “No. I just had to convince Mrs. Bunce. She spelled up an exact copy and secretly gave me the original.”

Baz continues to stare at the portrait of his mother, then swallows and nods. “Thank you.” He takes a deep breath and carefully sets it aside before starting on his other presents. They’re mostly clothes and old magical books or artefacts. Fiona got him a few CDs, though (I have to laugh at the look on his face as he judges her taste in music), and Vera left him new violin strings. I hope he got her something, and judging by the smile on his face, I think he probably did.

Once Baz has finished, I turn my attention to the girls. Clara and Rosie are already playing with their new toys, and Mordelia is clutching a book to her chest. She looks so happy. I take a guess that it’s her first magical book. After a few seconds, she stands up and runs to hug her parents. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she gushes.

I turn to grin at Baz, and he’s watching his sister with the proudest look I’ve seen. “Only a few more years until Watford, Mordelia,” he says, and she beams at him before sitting back down to flip through the book.

Once all the presents have been opened, everyone is set loose, though we’re instructed to meet back up for dinner in the afternoon. Baz leads me out to the hall and waits until everyone leaves to speak. Before he can, though, Fiona appears. I automatically straighten and mentally reach for my sword, but it isn’t there anymore.

Baz’s aunt just laughs. “Calm down, Simon. I’m not here to harm you. I wouldn’t want to ruin Christmas for everyone.”

I relax just the smallest bit. “What do you want, then?”

“Well, I wanted to thank Baz for his gift,” she says, holding up a few cans of spray paint. Baz smirks. “I do need to talk to you too, though.” Fiona looks away and takes a moment, like she’s about to say something that pains her. “Look, I’ll just say it flat-out: I don’t like or trust you, and I don’t like that my darling nephew chose you.”

I cringe. “Okay. I could have guessed that, from the number of times you’ve tried to _kill_ me over the years.”

“Shut up. I wasn’t done.” She takes a deep breath and continues, “I don’t like you, _but_ I’m willing to try for Baz’s sake.”

Baz squeezes my hand, and I blink in surprise. I certainly wasn’t expecting that. I’m not sure I can trust her, but I guess it really comes down to whether _I’m_ willing to try for Baz’s sake, too. “…Okay,” I finally answer, and she shakes my other hand like we’ve just closed a business deal before lifting her chin and striding away. I turn to my boyfriend for help. “What the hell just happened?”

He looks nearly as surprised as I am. “I _think_ that was my aunt attempting to compromise.”

“That was so strange.”

Baz nods, then glances around to make sure we’re actually alone this time. “Now that she’s gone…” he says, and then I suddenly find myself wrapped tightly in his arms. He buries his face in my shoulder, and I return the hug, slightly confused. “Thank you so much.”

“Huh? For—Oh, for the picture?” I ask, and he nods against me. “It’s nothing, really. I’m glad you like it, though.”

“ _Like_ it? Simon, I—I can’t believe you got that for me. It’ll go up on my wall as soon as we get back.”

“I’m serious, it was no trouble,” I say. This is getting a bit embarrassing. I knew Baz would appreciate having a picture of his mother, but I had no idea he would react this strongly. “Like I said, I just had to talk to Mrs. Bunce. She was really nice about it, and—oh! She also said that although they need the books there, you’re welcome to come take a look at them any time you want. The wards haven’t been changed.”

There’s a hitch in Baz’s breath, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think he was crying. I rub his back for a few minutes until he manages to compose himself. Then he takes a deep breath and pulls away just enough to kiss me before standing upright.

He stares at me for a minute before saying, “You look too good right now.”

I laugh. “Why do you say that like it’s a bad thing?”

Baz shakes his head. “No, Snow, you look too _good._ I haven’t eaten since the night before last. I need to hunt.”

“Oh! Oh, right,” I say, a bit embarrassed at my misunderstanding. He wasn’t exactly clear about what he meant, though. I hesitate. “Do you… want me to come with you?”

He shakes his head again. “You can come out if you want, to the edge of the woods. I don’t want you to see me feeding, though.”

I rub his shoulder. “I’ve seen it before, Baz. You know I don’t mind.”

“You’ve seen me drinking from bags of blood before, not killing small animals.”

“It’s still okay. I’m not scared of you or anything, and seeing you hunt won’t change that.”

“I know,” Baz says with a sigh. “It’s not about you, though. I just don’t feel comfortable showing you that side of me any more than I absolutely have to.”

“Okay. I’ll just come outside with you then, and wait.”

“Thank you.”

\-----

When we get back, I insist that Baz play his violin, and he indulges me. He takes me to his practice room, and I sit down to listen in the only chair.

Soon enough, he’s gathered an audience. Clara and Rosie each sit on one of my legs, and Mordelia perches on the arm of the chair. Baz smiles and, after a while, plays a faster tune for them to stand up and dance to. We pass the time like this until dinner.

\-----

Dinner goes surprisingly well. Although Baz’s father doesn’t acknowledge that we’re together, he also doesn’t say anything to go against it. The kids chatter and play, and no food gets launched through the air this time. Baz sneaks extra food onto my plate when nobody’s looking. Overall, things are civil, and almost fun.

\-----

The rest of the week flies by, once the structure of Christmas family time is over. The girls beg us to join them every day, and we color and chase them and tell stories and, after it snows on day four, have snowball fights.

Fiona and I discover the upside to being tentative allies, which is that she has somebody to listen to embarrassing stories about Baz as a child, and _I_ have somebody to tell me those stories.

Mr. Grimm mostly spends his time in his office, but when he does emerge, he doesn’t say anything particularly rude.

Daphne does everything she can to keep everyone happy and comfortable, and by the end of the week, I think I can read her a little bit better. I think maybe I’ve won her over, at least a bit. Baby James is usually with her, but she sometimes asks Baz and me to watch him for a while. I love to play with and read to him. At one point, he starts crying, so I pick him up and walk around, bouncing him a little and whispering soothing words. He quiets down after a few minutes, and I look to Baz to see him watching us with that soft expression again, biting his lip. I think, _‘Someday…’_ Daphne returns, thanks us, and whisks the baby away for a nap.

\-----

After we’ve packed on the last day, we stand at the door while everyone gives their goodbyes.

Mordelia hugs her brother and kisses him on the cheek, giving me a small not-so-devious smile and a wave.

The twins hug us both and cry and ask when we’ll come back to play with them some more. We don’t have an answer, but with one glance, we know that there _will_ be another time.

Daphne hugs us, too, and whispers in my ear, “Take care of him.” I blush, but nod and return the hug this time.

Fiona pats my shoulder and hands me a piece of paper with an email address scribbled on it. “Message me whenever you need something embarrassing to blackmail dear Basil with.” I agree and laugh at the murderous look on Baz’s face.

Mr. Grimm shakes my hand, hesitates for a moment, and then says, “You’re welcome to come back with Basilton any time.” It takes physical effort to keep my jaw from hitting the floor, and Baz’s expression in the corner of my eye says that he’s just as shocked. I think it’s the closest to approval that I’ll ever get from his father.

We say goodbye to everyone one more time and then head out and climb into Baz’s car. We drive in silence for a minute, and then I say, “That was actually really nice.”

Baz nods. “Yeah, it was, but…” He intertwines our fingers. “Now it’s time to go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes on the names: I originally wanted to name Baz’s brother Jasper, but then my mother reminded me that was the name of a character in Twilight, and I thought that would be kind of a sick joke. I wanted to stick with a “J” name though, and I thought a little Harry Potter reference would be nice, so it became James. It wasn’t until after I wrote most of the chapter that I realized there was also a Rose in Harry Potter.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After that last, fairly long, one, I wanted to write something short and sweet. Also, as much as I love the switching points of view, I wanted to write at least one drabble that was entirely dialogue, because that used to be how I wrote most things and I kind of miss it.
> 
> The first part of this actually came about because I am an idiot and did the same thing.

“Did you… Did you actually just manage to hit yourself on the head with a remote?”

“I was trying to toss it into the air and see how many times I could get it to spin before I caught it!”

“Crowley, Snow, you really are a moron sometimes.”

“At least I didn’t get kidnapped by numpties.”

\-----

“Penny, do you think Baz will ever forgive me?”

“Of course he will, Simon, don’t be such a numpty.”

“…I think he heard you.”

“He was meant to, Simon.”

\-----

“Did you really join Snow in that ridiculousness?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“If you’re sure…”

“…Numpty.”

\-----

“Get the cat off of me.”

“Aww, Baz, he just wants to get warm!”

“…Like a numpty.”

“Okay, okay, I get it! Haha, Baz got kidnapped by bloody numpties, it’s hilarious! I knew I should never have told you two what happened!”

“Sorry, Baz… We didn’t mean to make you mad. The funniest part is honestly just how embarrassed you are about it.”

“I’m never going to live this down, am I?”

“No, no you aren’t. Numpty.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you may have noticed that I might be slightly too obsessed with the theme of “home is where the heart is.” It isn’t about to end.

**Simon:**

When we first moved here, the flat was nearly empty. We really only had our clothes and a few personal things. Soon enough, though, we figured out that we needed things like furniture and dishes, so we went shopping for those. Penny and I bickered a little about what kind to get, but I was honestly still too amazed that we even had a place together to care much.

Now, the flat has filled up so much that it’s a struggle to get around sometimes. Penny’s books and knick-knacks litter every available surface. Dishes pile up in the sink or counter until somebody finally get sick enough of seeing them to do something about it (usually Baz. He gets annoyed with Penny for forgetting that she can just spell them clean). Baz’s sisters send me drawings sometimes, and they filled up the fridge and eventually took over the coffee table.

Baz’s things kept accumulating until they took up one of my drawers and then started appearing everywhere else when that was full (the bathroom counter, my bedroom floor, the dining room table). He stayed over so often that, pretty early on, we realized things would be a lot easier if I got a bigger bed. So I did. At some point, I think he just moved in without anyone really noticing, much less mentioning it.

Then one day, Penny nervously mentioned that Micah was leaving America to be with her and asked if we would be okay with him moving in. I was shocked that in the end, she wasn’t the one moving. I was so happy that I said yes, obviously. Baz didn’t seem to care either way.

Micah is the sporty type, so there are balls and bats and weights filling up most of the corners of the flat now. He’s also added a lot to the collection of books, and I think that if we organized all the books here now, we could have our own library.

Now that I’ve actually gotten to spend some time with Micah, I’ve realized that he’s a really great person. If Penny had to choose anyone, I’m glad it was him. Lately though, he’s a bit twitchy, and she thinks that he’s mad at her. _I_ think he’s planning to propose. I don’t know how to tell him that he should wait, because I’m pretty sure Penny would rather be the one to propose, in her own time and on her own terms. I’m sure it will work out either way, though. If you watch them for just five minutes, you can see how much they love each other. I wonder what will happen when they get married.

I know that eventually, we’ll split apart into at least two separate houses. For now, though, there’s papers on every surface and too many things to trip over and Penny and Micah to tease when they make googly eyes at each other (they tease Baz and me right back). For now, there’s takeout and Doctor Who and my vampire boyfriend cuddled up to me. For now, this is home, and I couldn’t ask for a better one.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let it be known that I’m probably even worse at dancing than Simon, and I know absolutely nothing about it. Everything in this came from wikiHow and Google, so please forgive me if I get things wrong.

**Baz:**

“You know you’ll have to dance eventually, don’t you?”

“Like when?”

I gesture towards Penelope’s room. “When they get married, as just one example.”

“I won’t _have_ to.”

“She’ll be disappointed if you don’t.”

“Fine. Then I’ll dance terribly.”

“Do you really want to embarrass Bunce like that?”

“You know you’ll have to stop calling her Bunce when they get married, right?”

“You know just as well as I do that she’ll either keep her own name or have it hyphenated. Now stop trying to change the subject.”

“I _can’t_ dance, Baz!”

“You can if I teach you how.”

“Agatha already tried to teach me how to dance! She said I was hopeless!”

I raise an eyebrow at Simon. “Agatha was probably a crap teacher, and you were probably too scared to get that close to her.” He blushes, and I know I’m right.

“You’re never going to drop this, are you?”

“Not a chance.”

He sits in petulance silence for a minute, but I knew long ago that I would win. “…Fine. It’s going to be terrible, and you’re going to hate me by the end of it, but fine. If you’re so determined, you can _try_ to teach me how to dance.”

“I knew you’d come around. Now stand up.”

“What? Right _now_?” he asks incredulously.

“Yes, right now.” Simon _will_ need to know how to dance, and he _is_ honestly horrendous at it. We’ll need all the time and practice we can get.

He drags himself up and stands in front of me. I shift a bit to the left. “We’ll start simple, with slow dancing.”

Simon rolls his eyes. “I already know how to slow dance, Baz. We did it at your leavers ball, remember?”

I give him a deadpan look. “You stepped on my toes nearly every time you moved.”

“Hey, I wasn’t _that_ bad!” he objects.

“Prove it,” I say, and he straightens up. Good. Now he’ll be more determined to get it right. He loves to prove me wrong.

I wrap my right arm behind Simon. He automatically tries to step closer, but I put a bit of space between us, ignoring his annoyed look. Then I hold up my left hand, and he takes it. His own left hand dangles at his side, and I roll my eyes and place it on my shoulder.

“Shouldn’t there be music?” he questions.

“Eventually. I think it’d be best to make sure you know how to stand and move before we add finding the rhythm to the mix.” He sighs but doesn’t argue. “I’ll do a nice, slow count instead. Each time I say ‘one,’ move. You move your right foot and bring the left to join it. Then you move your left foot and bring the right to join it. It’ll end up making a box, okay?”

Simon thinks it over, probably picturing the movements in his head, then says, “Okay. I think I can handle that.”

“Alright. One, t--,” I start, but he’s taken by surprise and moves a bit late. He nearly trips, over his own legs or mine, I’m not entirely sure. I stifle my laughter.

“Shit,” Simon mutters, moving his feet back to where they started. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Let’s try again, starting now. One--” He moves this time, but steps his right foot forward and steps on my foot.

He growls in frustration. “Sorry, Baz! Are you okay?”

“It’s fine.” I can’t say that I expected to get out of this without a few bruises, honestly. “Start out by moving your right foot backwards, okay? That was my fault, I should have said that in the first place.”

“We should stop before I seriously hurt you. I _told_ you I’m hopeless!”

“No, you aren’t Simon,” I say, rubbing small circles on his back. “You’re learning. It’ll take some time. Let’s try again.”

He takes a deep breath. “Okay, if you’re sure you want to keep going.”

I nod. “Okay, starting now. One, two--”

Simon moves too far back and it trips him up on the next movement. By now his face is bright red, and I can tell he’s getting angry at himself.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’ll get it. You just need small movements for a slow dance. We’ll try one more time, and then we can take a break, okay?”

It turns out we don’t need that break, though, because when I start the count again, he gets it right. When we finish a full box step, his eyes leave his feet and jump to my face, shocked. I nod. I want to give him some encouragement, but I don’t stop the count in case it messes him up. We continue for a few minutes before I lead him to a stop. Simon is practically bouncing he looks so excited.

“That was great, Simon. I told you you’d get it.” He jumps forward to hug me, and I lean down for a quick kiss. “Do you want to try it with music?”

He looks hesitant, but nods. “Okay. We can try, at least.”

I drop my arms and walk over to turn the stereo on. When I come back, Simon immediately raises his arms. I smile and take his hand, stepping into position. When the music starts, I keep up my count for a minute, just in case. He actually seems to be doing better with the music, though. Maybe playing that guitar so much has helped with his rhythm. I start counting more quietly, and he doesn’t seem to notice, so I stop entirely. He keeps moving with just the music to guide him. When the song ends, he stops and beams at me.

“You did amazingly,” I say. We had to push the coffee table against the sofa to make room, so it’s blocked off. I lead him to a chair instead, and he sits on my lap.

“I can’t believe I actually did it!”

“I told you.”

“I slow danced!”

“Yes you did. A little more practice, and we’ll have you doing the waltz soon.” I can’t help but laugh when the panicked look on his face returns. “Don’t worry, we have plenty of time.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one takes place a while before the last few, so sorry if the jump seems weird. Also, warning for mentions of eating disorders (but they really are just _mentions_ ).

**Penelope:**

It’s when we all go out to eat that I notice it for the first time. Simon and Baz aren’t roughhousing or snogging, and there’s no television to act as a distraction. There’s just the three of us talking, and some pizza. I eventually notice that Baz has taken a single bit from his.

I shrug it off and assume that either he just isn’t hungry or he ate a slice while I wasn’t paying attention and this is his second.

\-----

The next time eat together, it’s at home. I cook and bring the food out to the other two, and I make a note to myself to pay more attention tonight. As usual, we sit around the telly while we eat.

Well, Simon and I eat.

Maybe it’s just a coincidence. Maybe he just hates my cooking.

\-----

The third time I notice, we’re eating takeaway and Baz is barely picking at his own. I’m terrified to bring it up, but I pull Simon aside anyways.

“What’s wrong?” Simon asks, immediately recognizing how worried I am. He looks like he’s ready to jump into action and save the day, as always.

“I…” I drift off. I’m whispering, but I know it doesn’t matter. If Baz wants to hear what we’re talking about, he will. I brace myself. “I think Baz might have an eating disorder.”

Simon laughs, which is confusing to say the least. Why wouldn’t he take this seriously?

“Don’t worry, he’ll eat later,” he says calmly. My confusion must show on my face, because he continues, “Baz doesn’t like to eat in front of most people. His fangs show, and it makes him self-conscious. He’ll eat later, when we’re along. I thought he might have a disorder too, at first, but I promise he’s fine.”

I sigh in relief. “As long as you’re sure.”

“I am.”

\-----

Months later, I remember that conversation. I glance over to see Baz devouring my homemade spaghetti, mouth full with more than just food, and smile.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another earlier one here. I think this fic might be wrapped up in a few more chapters…

**Simon:**

I’m about to go on my first actual date with my not-so-evil vampire boyfriend.

Everything about that sentence is weird.

Let’s start with “not-so-evil.” I spent _years_ believing Baz was evil and spent all his time scheming and plotting against me. Now absolutely everything has been turned on its head, and I know that he’s just a normal person. We were only turned against each other because of what everyone else expected of us.

Now for “vampire.” Never in my life did I think I’d be going out with a dark creature. That’s weird. The other weird thing about it is that even though I’ve known for a long time that Baz was a vampire, I never actually thought that I would get him to admit to it.

And finally, the words “date” and “boyfriend.” I never really imagined myself dating anyone but Agatha. I certainly didn’t imagine myself dating a boy. It strikes me again every time I think the word “boyfriend,” but I don’t think I mind it. It’s kind of nice, in a strange way. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to it.

\-----

**Baz:**

Simon Snow is my boyfriend.

Now isn’t that a strange thought?

Boyfriend. I never thought I’d have one. After all, I don’t think my obsession would ever let me settle for anyone other than Snow, and he’d certainly never settle for me.

But he did. Simon Snow, the Greatest Mage, the bloody hero, the bane of my existence, my gorgeous, annoyingly perfect roommate, settled for me. He chose _me_ , of all people, and I still can’t believe it.

I’m not sure I ever will, but I know I’ll never take it for granted.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, have a follow-up fic to the last one.

**Simon:**

Baz and I have technically been together for a while now, but there were bigger things going on when we got together and we haven’t had the chance to go on an actual date until now. He seems to get insecure sometimes, and he starts doubting my feelings when he gets like that. I want to make our first date something special so he won’t have any doubts anymore.

I just have no idea how to do that.

I don’t know where to take him or what to do.

You’d think I would know what to wear and how to act on a date after all the ones Agatha and I went on, but our first date was a long time ago, and we were always more casual anyways.

I can’t stop freaking out. I tried going to Penny for help, but she just laughed. She probably thinks it’s cute that I’m fretting over this.

“Please help me, Penny!” I’m practically begging at this point. We’re supposed to meet up in about two hours, and I still don’t even know where I’m taking him.

Penny sighs. “Fine… As fun as it was to watch you panic, you look like you’re about to have a heart attack. You wouldn’t be any fun dead. You know he won’t care where you go or what you do, right? Baz is so smitten with you that you could probably take him to a swamp and he’d still just be happy to be out with you.”

I glare at her. “That doesn’t help, Penny. I want to take him to actually have a good time.”

“Alright, alright. What do normal couples do on dates?”

As if she doesn’t know. She’s one half of a normal couple. I say the first things that come to mind anyways. “Um… Dinner? Movies? Coffee?”

“Okay, that’s a start. Do any of those sound like something that would make a good first date for you two?”

I consider it and laugh. “Well, we _could_ do any of those things… We aren’t exactly a normal couple, though.”

“So you want to something different than the usual?” Penny asks. I nod, and she gets a mischievous look on her face. “Why don’t you take him to the woods to hunt?”

“Penny! He’d probably punch me, or get all mopey and hide!” After a moment of thought, I continue, “Although…”

Penny puts up her hands in a signal to stop me. “Don’t tell me you’re seriously considering it! It was a joke, Simon! I don’t actually want to ruin your first date with Baz!”

I laugh. “No, I’m not going to take him to hunt. I was just thinking that the woods aren’t such a bad idea, though. A picnic is kind of a normal date thing, right?”

“It is…” Penny concedes. “Isn’t it a bit late for a picnic, though?”

I blush. The thought had already crossed my mind, but the idea I’ve had is so sappy and romantic it’s embarrassing. “We could have dinner under the stars…” I mutter. I don’t mention that it makes me think of the night Baz brought the stars to us. I still haven’t told her about that night, and a part of me thinks I never will. That was a special moment for us, even before we were together, and I don’t really want to share it with anyone.

Penny coos and laughs. “You’re so adorable, Simon. See, I knew you were never meant to be with Agatha. You were never like this with her.”

“Thanks. I really needed that reminder of what a bad boyfriend I was,” I say, deadpan.

“Oh, Simon… The operative word there is ‘was.’ You were only like that because you weren’t in love with her.” I blush. Penny’s figured it out before I’ve even gathered the courage to say the words aloud. "Now look how much effort you’re putting into this!” I hear her unspoken words hanging in the air. ‘Maybe a little _too much_ effort...’

“Okay, now that we’ve figured out where to go… What should I wear?”

Penny giggles again. “I don’t know, Simon. Whatever you want to wear. I wouldn’t recommend anything too fancy for a picnic, though. You don’t want to risk ruining nice clothes.”

“That’s true… Oh!” I rush for my room, calling over my shoulder, “Thanks for the help, Penny!”

“No problem,” she replies, though she seems a bit confused about my sudden exit.

I rifle through my drawers until I find what I’m looking for. I put on the jeans and plain black t-shirt, smirking to myself. They’re simple, but absolutely perfect. Once I’m done changing, I make dinner, enlisting Penny’s help to speed up the cooking. When that’s done, I check the clock, run to the bathroom to fix my hair really quick, and head for the door. “Bye Penny!”

“Bye, Simon! Good luck! Be back by midnight,” she teases.

“We’ll see, mom!” I answer, peeking my head back around the door to stick my tongue out at her.

\-----

When I show up at Baz’s doorstep, he smiles and follows me out. After a moment, he does a double take. “Are those my clothes, Snow?”

I blush and nod. “You left them at my place.”

His grin turns almost predatory and he wraps an arm around my waist to pull me closer. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe I did it on purpose?” he whispers into my ear. He kisses first the mole on my cheek, then the one on my neck, before finally moving to my lips. We get caught up in each other’s mouths for a few minutes before moving on and getting into Baz’s car.

I direct Baz while he drives, and when we eventually stop in the middle of nowhere and climb out, he gives me a suspicious look. I just take his hand and lead him into the woods. It takes a few minutes, but we reach a large hill and I pull him up to the top, where there’s a small clearing.

We didn’t have a picnic basket, so everything is stuffed into a grocery bag. I pull out the blanket and lay it out over the grass, then kneel and spread the food out. Baz looks vaguely impressed; he’s probably surprised that I can cook at all, since he and Penny are usually the ones cooking for us.

(I don’t usually because I’m generally terrible at cooking. I can make a few things, though. I nearly exhausted that small list tonight.)

We eat, occasionally stopping for a few minutes to kiss. When the food is gone, I pack the dishes and trash back into the bag and move it aside. I take Baz’s hand and lie down on the blanket. He takes the hint and lies down next to me.

I watch Baz carefully; he swallows when he looks up at the stars, and I wonder if he’s remembering that night, too. It becomes obvious that he is when he squeezes my hand and turns to stare at me for a minute.

“I love you,” he says like he’s realizing it over again, like the words still feel new coming out of his mouth.

My breath catches and I roll to lean over him. I kiss him again, partially because I just want to, but mostly because I need a few seconds to slow my heart down. It doesn’t. “I love you, too,” I say when I finally pull away. The words _are_ new in my mouth. Baz has said them to me several times, but he never pushed or seemed like he expected me to say them back. In fact, he looks utterly shocked that I have now. I didn’t want to say it until I was completely sure. I am now.

Baz opens and closes his mouth a few times like he wants to say something but can’t decide what. Finally, he gives up and just grabs the back of my neck, pulling me back down to his mouth. After a minute, he pulls away just enough to whisper against my lips, “I never thought I would live to hear you say those words, Simon Snow.”

“I never thought I would say them,” I admit.

“Thank you,” he breathes, collapsing back against the blanket.

I lie back down with my head on his shoulder. “Don’t thank me, weirdo,” I say, poking his side. “It’s true.”

“I know. That’s exactly why I’m thanking you.”

I don’t get it, but I decide to let it go. It’s probably one of those things I’ll never understand about Baz. Instead of trying to puzzle it out, I just go back to watching the stars. Eventually, I fall asleep that way. I wake up at some point to the motion of the car, but doze off again nearly as quickly as I awoke. The next time I open my eyes, I’m tucked in my own bed, and I can feel Baz’s breath against the back of my neck. I smile and drift back to sleep.


	25. Chapter 25

**Baz:**

After everything that happened in the White Chapel, everyone’s insisting that we stay in our tower room while we heal. Simon seems to be okay physically, but he isn’t speaking. It breaks my heart. I can only hope that it’ll help him when we finally get away from Watford.

I’m jolted awake one night. I glance over to Simon’s bed. He’s sitting upright, eyes wide. “Oh!” he yells. It’s the first word I’ve heard from him in days.

Instantly, I’m at his side. “What’s wrong?” I ask, though I don’t expect an answer. He’s been having nightmares lately, and when he does, he sleepwalks and doesn’t respond normally. Dr. Wellbelove says they’re called night terrors.

Suddenly, Simon leans over and kisses my forehead. That’s the last thing I expect, and I just stare at him for a minute. “Are you awake?”

He nods, then swallows and opens and closes his mouth a few times. It takes him a few minutes to force out more words. “I forgot to pass that on,” he eventually manages, looking sad.

My heart pounds. “What are you talking about?” I ask, but I have a feeling that I already know.

“Your mom,” he says, twisting the sheets around his fingers. My throat closes up. “She asked me to give that to you.”

It’s something so small, but it renders me unable to speak. I feel like I might cry if I do. I hug Simon close to me instead and hope that it will convey how thankful I am.

After a few minutes, I feel like I can get words out without choking on them, but I still don’t know what to say. I change the subject instead, because as grateful as I am that he passed on my mother’s “message,” there are other important things to mention, too. “Why did you decide to talk now?” I ask.

Simon shrugs. “It was important. There was so much going on that I forgot about it, but then I had a dream and remembered. It was important that I tell you.”

“Are you okay?” It’s strange to hear him speaking again, especially so much all at once. I don’t want him to stop.

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” He takes a deep breath, actually takes a minute to think about it, and starts again. “I don’t know how I’m feeling. I don’t think I am okay right now, but I think I will be, eventually.”

“It’s okay that you’re not okay,” I quote back to him, taking his hand. I know that it helped me when he said that. I hope it can help him, too.

Simon nods. “I will be,” he repeats, “As long as I have you and Penny by my side.”

“I’m staying right here.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vaguely based on the songs “Wild” and “Bite” by Troye Sivan.
> 
> Warning for sexual content. For the entire chapter, really. I’m sorry if it’s terrible. I’m still really, really not used to writing smut haha

**Baz:**

I never thought I would be the kind of person that would go to the cinema and just sit in the back snogging.

As it turns out, I am exactly that kind of person.

Simon and I went to actually see a movie, but by the time the previews were over, our focus was already far away from the screen.

The cinema is close to my flat, so we walked from there. I’m really regretting that decision now. We can barely keep our hands off of each other, and we keep stopping to make out in the shadows of trees and against fences and walls.

By the time that we finally stumble into my flat, I’m so worked up that I don’t even try to resist the urge to slam him up against the wall the moment the door closes behind us.

Some part of me has always wondered what would have happened if we were like this in our old room. Did the Anathema only consider harm done, or the intention behind it? If I pushed him around like this, what would have happened? If Simon dug his nails into my shoulders like he does now, would he have been banished? I’m curious, but thankful that I’ll never have to find out.

I pull Simon back up to my mouth. I lick his lip, and he growls. That sound used to be endlessly annoying to me. That’s the last thing it is now.

I move down after a minute, kissing along his jaw to the mole on his neck. His hand comes up to tangle in my hair, and when my hands travels from his waist up under his shirt, he pulls. I gasp and turn my attention back to his mouth.

Simon’s hands slide down, over my arms and down my sides. He reaches my belt loops and pulls as hard as he can, bringing me impossibly closer.

I slide my leg in between his, and he pulls away, breathing harshly against my mouth. “Bedroom?” Simon suggests, and I nod jerkily, my heart racing. This is as far as we’ve gone, but I’m not about to stop now if he doesn’t want to.

It takes a few minutes between distractions, but we make it to my room, shirts fallen in the hallway. Simon nudges the door closed with his foot, then walks me backwards until my knees hit the bed. He shoves, and I fall back, quickly scooting up towards the pillows. He climbs up after me, chasing my lips. We break for air and he sits up. My breath catches in my throat. Simon Snow is straddling me, and I have never been more turned on in my entire life. I’m not sure I will _ever_ be more turned on than I am right now.

That thought lasts for about two seconds, until he lunges forward again, kissing me and pinning my wrists up by my head.

The idea crosses my mind that maybe we should get our jeans off, but I can’t bring myself to pull away from him long enough to suggest it. He doesn’t seem to care much, either.

Simon lowers his body and ruts against me, and my hips buck. He bites my lip and I wish I could do the same to him, see if it drives him as crazy as it drives me.

I get a hand free and bring it up to his chest. I rub my thumb over a nipple and he jerks forward, the friction is delicious. He starts up a rhythm, and it’s all I can do to just breathe and meet his thrusts. I don’t last long. Simon bites by neck, and I come with his name on my lips. My vision blurs, but I can feel him follow after me, shaking silently.

Simon collapses on the bed next to me, and we just breathe. “Wow,” he says. I just nod in agreement. Then he suddenly starts laughing.

“What’s so funny?” I ask. I can’t help but be a bit offended, or worried, or something. I’m not entirely sure _what_ to think.

“Nothing, nothing,” he insists. “It’s just…” Simon stops and rolls onto his side, pushing my mouth open. “I didn’t expect your fangs to come back out at a time like this.”

Oh. I run my tongue over my teeth, and sure enough, my fangs are out. Thank Merlin I didn’t bite him like I wanted to. Part of me is terrified that I lost control to the point that I didn’t even notice, but mostly I just want to laugh along with him. So I do.

I think Simon can tell that I don’t have a response that wouldn’t be terribly awkward, because he eventually just says, “That was amazing, but… We maybe should have finished getting undressed.”

I glance down. He has a point. “We should probably get cleaned up,” I suggest, though I don’t actually feel like moving at all.

Simon hums. “Mm, later. Too tired.” He yawns as if to prove his point, then kicks off his jeans and climbs under the covers. I follow his lead, though I’m sure I’m going to regret it later.

He cuddles up to me, resting his head on my shoulder. “G’night,” he slurs. “Love you, Baz.”

I can’t stop the grin that grows on my face. I give him one more quick kiss before I close my eyes. “I love you, Simon.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Penelope:**

“I think I _am_ going to have my wings and tail removed,” Simon declares one day out of absolutely nowhere.

I shrug. “If that’s what you want.”

At the same time, though, Baz says, “What? Why would you want to do that?”

Simon wrinkles his forehead. “Why wouldn’t I? They just get in the way all the time. People constantly run into or trip over them, and I’m always knocking things over. I mean, I knock you out of bed at least once a week!”

Baz falters. “You can fly, though,” he retorts weakly.

My interest has definitely been caught now. Why on earth does Baz want Simon to keep them so badly?

Simon shrugs. “Sure, but I usually just drive with you anyways. It’s not exactly safe to go flying around in the middle of a huge city.”

“Well, if you really want to… Think about it a little more before you decide to do it for sure, though, okay? You don’t want to end up regretting it.”

“Alright,” Simon agrees, though he still looks a bit confused.

\-----

Over the next week, I watch for clues.

Once I know what to look for, it’s absolutely everywhere.

They sit together, and Baz idly starts stroking Simon’s tail. I don’t think he even realizes that he’s doing it.

A loud thud wakes me up in the middle of the night when Baz falls out of bed. It’s not the first time I’ve heard it, but it’s the first time I creep into the hallway and hear Simon crying. Maybe being pushed off the bed is Baz’s signal that Simon’s had a nightmare.

Baz steps into the flat, and Simon’s tail perks up. He teases him, and it droops. I walk into the room to find Simon pinning Baz to the couch, and it’s practically wagging. (I leave as quickly as I came.)

It all seems so obvious. I can’t believe I never noticed any of this before.

\-----

“I thought about it, and I guess you’re right. I’m going to keep them, at least for a while longer. It’s nice to be able to fly, even if I don’t do it much, and… They’re a reminder.” Simon doesn’t have to clarify. We both know exactly what he means.

“See? I told you that you’d want to be absolutely certain first. You can’t just take it back if you get rid of them,” Baz says. He’s trying to hide it, but I can tell he’s relieved.

Simon hums in agreement, and the subject gets dropped until Baz leaves. Then Simon turns to me, shaking his head in disbelief.

“I’m pretty sure Baz likes my tail and wings,” he says. “I just can’t figure out why!”

I can only laugh.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like this’ll be the last one, guys! I do have more Carry On fanfiction in the works, but they probably won’t be posted until sometime in December, after NaNo is over and I’ve had some time to reread the book and actually edit stuff.
> 
> Chapters 17-21 were kind of supposed to be leading along the same path, and I wanted to put this one directly after those, but… I also wanted it to be the very last one, and there were still some other drabbles I wanted to include before this fic was over, so it’s going here instead.
> 
> I hope you guys have enjoyed reading this at least a fraction as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it! See you again in December! :)

**Baz:**

Simon seems confused when I pick him up without my car, but I want to take my time tonight. Our first anniversary went better than expected, but our second will be even more memorable. I take his hand and along the river. It’s brilliant at night, lit up by reflections from the city lights. As expected, he jerks to a stop to watch after a few minutes, pulling me with him. He loves the sight, no matter how often he sees it.

Simon watches the water, and I watch him. My heart is in my throat, both because of how amazing he looks and how nervous I am, but I don’t say a word, just lift our intertwined hands to kiss his knuckles. He glances over for just a moment to give me a soft smile.

When he’s had his fill, I lead him to the top of a hill in the park. It’s not the same place that we had our first date. Unfortunately, we don’t have enough time to drive out that far tonight. He clearly gets that I’m trying to bring that image to mind, though, because he rubs the back of his neck and laughs awkwardly. He gives me a quick kiss and then looks at me like he’s trying to puzzle something out. “What are we doing?” he asks curiously.

I look at my watch and chuckle. “Perfect timing. We need to get going now. You’ll see when we get there.” We head back down the hill and I hail a taxi.

When we get out, Simon gapes. He’s mentioned wanting to try this Italian restaurant before, but it was always just a passing jokes. Reservations have to be made months ahead of time, and he never really thought it seemed worth it.

“Now I know why you told me to wear a suit,” he eventually says, laughing. He’s watching me from the corner of his eye, and I can tell that he knows something’s going on. I just hope he hasn’t caught on to what exactly that is. I take him into the restaurant and we’re led to our table.

I pull out Simon’s chair for him before taking my own, and he continues to look at me suspiciously. We chat about nothing while looking through the menu. After we place our orders, I look around as inconspicuously as I can.

There she is, in the corner, trying to hide behind her menu. I’m glad Simon isn’t paying any attention, because Bunce is not hiding as well as she thinks she is, and Micah isn’t even attempting to. I’ve spent months talking with Penelope about this. I’m a bit amazed that she hasn’t given away even the smallest clues. I think she’s even kept it hidden from her boyfriend, just in case he would accidentally say something to give it away.

It didn’t take much to get her to help me plan this night. Getting her to actually come along and hide, however, took a lot of convincing. She eventually agreed when I pointed out two things: 1) I already made reservations and there was no way of cancelling now. 2) Somebody has to take to take record this, and it obviously won’t be me.

We eat quietly, Simon looking awed every time he takes a bite. When I order dessert for both of us, he looks vaguely offended. I know his taste, though, so he doesn’t actually object.

Simon digs into the cake. I’m sure it’s perfect, as everything else has been. I don’t eat a bite. I’m not sure I could swallow it if I did.

When his fork clanks against something, Simon stops, looking confused.

Well, that’s one obstacle down. At least he didn’t swallow it.

He pulls it out with his fingers and stares at it for a moment. His stare jumps up to me. “I-is--” he starts, but I’m already on one knee. I can’t hear anything over the pounding of my own heart in my ears. I take one of Simon’s hands between my own, and he turns sideways in his seat to better accommodate me.

“Simon Snow…” I start. I pause for a moment, swallow, and start again. “Simon Snow, you have been by my side for almost half my life.” I see the corners of his mouth twitch up at my convenient wording, and I grin back. “You have brought nearly every high to me, and we’ve powered through all the lows together. I love you more than I could ever say, and I can’t imagine ever wanting to spend the rest of my life with anyone else. Would you make me the happiest man on the planet and be my husband?”

I don’t even manage to stand up all the way before Simon launches himself at me “You idiot, _of course_ I’ll marry you!” he says, eyes watering.

I would probably be more offended about being called an idiot if I didn’t feel like throwing up from the sudden rush of relief and ecstasy. I wrap Simon up in my arms and kiss him, and after a few moments I become aware of somebody clapping. I turn to see Penelope standing, camera held aloft, clapping one hand against her arm. I grin at her, and at Simon’s expression when he sees her.

Micah stands up and starts clapping too, and soon everyone in the room has joined in. There are a few whistles and shouts. I lean my forehead against Simon’s. I can’t keep the ridiculous smile off my face.

“I love you,” I repeat once more.

“I love you too,” he says, grinning back while he wipes a tear from his cheek. I don’t even try to resist the urge to kiss my gorgeous boyfriend again… No, my gorgeous fiancé. I cannot wait to see what the rest of our lives together hold.


End file.
